I’ve neglected writing mostly because I can’t think of thigns to write about that would substantiate a meaty many-paragraph post. If you need evidence of that, you can look at my last..10 posts. But rest assured, I have a few things to say.

• The Star Trek film is going to be awful. Creepy actually informed me of this long before I wanted to believe it. I’m seeing the film on Friday and, yes, I’m so afraid. What worries me is that J.J Abrams is going to make a beloved series into a mainstream digital-this-and-that film full of pretty boys, needless action scenes, needless sex scenes, hard-to-believe relationships, and bad attempts at quippy dialogue. We’ll see. I really hope I’m proven wrong.
• A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin is a splendid book. I don’t normally care for stories about political intrigue amongst royalty in some fantasy world, but I was pleasantly surprised at the end. Best of all, I still have three more books in the series to read.
• Art. I want to cry because I haven’t seen this guy’s art sooner. It’s that good. Please take a look. I rarel ever post tons of links to random garbage on my blog (hehe).

Okay, Shane, I wrote!

Women don’t think it’s sexy.

GENUFLECT. NOW.

“So I Was Minding My Own Business when…” is arguably the only effective way to begin a personal anecdote. If you do not begin such a story with this introductory sentence, your retelling of an event is hereby deemed futile and boring. Why is this? It’s simple: uninteresting things happen to people who don’t mind their own business. In fact, even if you are a nosy person you should use this phrase so as not to draw attention to this flaw.

If you’re ever sitting alone in front of your computer on a Friday night and you wish you be entertained by the antics of perfect strangers, just Google this phrase. Here are some of the things you’ll come up with:

So, I was minding my own business [. . .] when all of a sudden I hear a banging at my door. Alright, no big deal…who could it be? Well, I answered the door and of course.. it was the babies daddy. Wonderful, now I have to put up with his stupid drama!

This story is AMAZING. I don’t often get to read about squawkings of unwed teenage American mothers who have run-ins with men they should’ve thought twice about before mating with, so this one truly astounds me. If you don’t wish to completely read through it, let me summarise. This woman’s ex-whatever comes to demand the return of some rubbish college ring and jacket that he supposedly lent her. She says she hasn’t got it and he loses his temper, resulting in her fetching her gun to drive him away. All whilst preggerz and teenaged!!

Don’t Use This Phrase If Your Story Sucks

BEWARE. Googling this phrase can yield one of two things: dumbasses and anime nerds.

Example!

So, I was minding my own business doing the porn site reviews I’ve been doing most of this week and everything was routine, everything was ordinary and somewhat mundane. I had a slight headache since I had a few hundred beers last night because a good friend of mine just came back to Panama after a year-and-a-half hiatus so I was in good spirits either way but things were going slow for a Friday when national hero [name omitted] sends me a message via Google Talk. ~

People review porno sites? Wasn’t pornography made to be looked at? A FEW HUNDRED BEERS? And I thought men lied about how many women they’ve been with. It all gets vastly uninteresting as a hideously long IM log is pasted with some back-and-forth in Spanish and English about Snakes on a Plane. Wow. I have to tell you all.. even though this is my blog and I can write about whatever strikes mah fancy, I feel some semblance of committment to posting something that is at least half-interesting to read. Well, at least ONE-FOURTH interesting to read. Which gives me an idea. I should make a list of things people should never write blog entries about.

Another day, another day.

Thesis: The predominance of the phrase “So I Was Minding My Own Business When…” is most rampant amongst the socially-impaired (henceforth referred to as “losers”) in effort to concoct a situation in which it appears that they have business to mind, when they really do not. After all, one cannot have “business” to attend to if they bask in the glow of the monitor memorising the dialogue to undubbed episodes of Naruto.

Tidbits to support said claim:

ok so i was minding my own business watching attack of the show on G4tv, and i was hit with joy when i heard the news ive been waiting for. …

Loser. G4 eats its young. Tech TV 4evs.

Okay so I was minding my own business when my friend starts telling me to read this manga that has similar tones as Death Note. …

Evidence number two.

So, I was minding my own business, checking out some of the tourist beauty-spots in Second Life and generally keeping a customised eye out for a dishonest …

Lolol, admit it, people used to go on Second Life until they realised it’s just a haven for people with Furry fetishes.

So i was minding my own business doing dailies on the sunwell island, I killed a sunfury elf on one of the ships and i get this: …

Sunwell Island? Rofl. This guy doesn’t even succeed at being a WoW loser.

… So I was minding my own business then Sasuke dragged me into the guys locker room with him and Kankuro locked us in. …

This excerpt is from a Naruto fanfiction. All I can say is: disturbing and grammatically incomprehensive.

So, I was minding my own business when… I saw a strange Anime called Dead Leaves. It was a preview I found in the third disc of Ghost in …

Agh!

Okay, that’s enough.

My dad came back from South Africa today and he bought me a lovely silk shawl that makes me feel like I’m a fancy lady, but more importantly? He brought a stone sculpture of none other than an AMAZING HIPPO. As well as some other creepy sculptures of African heads. I’m kind of scared of them, tbh. They look like props you see in adventure films that contain voodoo spirits within them and stuff.

If you’re clicking this, it’s probably because of one of three things:

1. You notice that I’m Dragon-ranked.

2. You notice the title of this blog post from my RSS sig.

3. You read the description in my RSS sig and are as in love with hippos as I am.

Frankly, I just don’t have the time for RSBANDB anymore in the capacities of moderating. The community is great, but my interest in the game itself has dwindled considerably now that I’m busy with other things. No, it’s not a “chore” to come to the forums. I just rather be your peer than your moderator. It’s a better fit with my schedule. So, I’m leaving the moderator rank but staying as a member.

It was an awesome two and a half years.

If you were kidnapped and forced to listen to one of these following songs on loop for 36 hours in a windowless cell, which would you choose?

Is it just me, or does “Dschingis Khan” look like a homosexual version of V from V for Vendetta? I just thought I’d note this.. ever since I first saw this video a few years ago, that guy periodically appears in my nightmares in the form of a soul-devouring gay court jester. Seriously, no human male should be able to bust dance moves like that.

*Inserts gun into mouth* This video makes Europeans look like a bunch of dumbfucks. Yes, I just insulted myself. On a slightly funnier note, the singer of this song has Tourette Syndrome. (Btw, this video speaks the truth. The only way you would ever get three attractive women to watch you play WC3 custom maps would be if you hired paid actresses to sit beside you looking interested. Hell, I’m sure I could manage it–if the price were right.)

You know. I don’t have much to say about this other than this: If I hadn’t read this singer’s Wikipedia entry, I would have assumed that she went on to acquire her future income by starring as Riff Raff in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Or at least in Labirynth as Jareth.

It would be awesome if I could write a post that was so bad ass that you could play Requiem for a Dream to it.

That is all.

Yes, this blog can exist without me posting any needlessly-controversial or heavily thought out material. In fact, I’ll prove that by just posting a list of random garbage that makes me happy. Why? Well, I don’t know, it’ll be fun though (for me, at least).

• Comics: A few of you probably know this already, but I’ll spell it out for those who don’t. I love my comics. I don’t really read into the superhero guy-in-spandex genre, but I am pretty well-rounded otherwise. I’ve never liked those types of comics that are purposely marketed to women either. I hate that, in fact. I don’t want forbidden love, loss, and drama. I want a plot with a purpose, a character with flaws, and a good dosage of violence in between. I don’t see comics as a form of escapism. If I did, I’d want the exact opposite of what I just said. I’d want boring Mary Sue characters who are the pinnacle of everything great in the world. In reality, I just want a story that is believable in its characterization (of course, suspension of disbelief is needed to read pretty much any comic). Here are some of my favourite comics: Serenity: Better Days, The Surrogates, The Umbrella Academy, Lords of Avalon, Preacher, Fables, and Rex Mundi. All of them are highly-recommended on my part.
• Trying a recipe out for the first time: No, I’m not the domestic type, but it’s always so exciting to cook something for the first time, even if it doesn’t always turn out right. Such an example would be the first time I tried to make bread. My goodness, I don’t know how many of you have tasted unrisen bread, but it is disgusting. There was..erm..what could best be described as confusion over what constituted “warm water” for the yeast to activate in. But then again, you learn from your mistakes. Baking bread can go wrong for so many reasons though. This is why I like cooking stuff in a crock pot.
• Anything mint-scented: Mint’s often considered a somewhat masculine smell, but I like it anyway. It has such a naturally soothing quality about it that I wonder why people pick lavender scents. I guess it could be considered odd if people walked around smelling overly of mint though.
• Tea: Speaking of mint, I love my mint tea. In fact, I like just about any type of tea that isn’t fruit flavoured. If I wanted to taste mango and blackberries in my tea, I’d go out and buy the actual fruit instead of having it ground up in my drink. The thought of it is almost as offensive as dinner in a pill. I don’t take sugar or milk with my tea either. Hardkore. I hate coffee, but love the smell of it. I mostly stay away from coffee because it literally makes me feel..unlike myself. I don’t feel awake from the caffeine, I just feel jittery. And hyper.
• Small book stores: In Germany, there’s Buch Habel and in America there is Barnes & Noble (I don’t know wtf you all do in England or the rest of zie world), but if you ever go into one of those conglomerate chains and ask a “sales associate” to fetch you a book that’s “a little bit of fantasy, but with a non-Lord of the Rings type plot, along with themes of love, hardship, friendship, and redemption”, you’ll get a blank stare. If you go into a small bookshop, you’ll most likely be met with, “I think I know a book that fits that description”. At least I did (and, yes, that was my exact description of a book I wanted. Take a look at King’s Man and Thief by Christie Golden if you don’t believe me). Shops like these are dying out and it’s a real shame.
• The smallest bits of kindness from strangers: Sure, I’d like to be saved by some daring person if I should ever fall in front of a bus, but holding the door open for me will do just fine. People who move through their world conscious of those around them and willing to offer their respect without forethought, but as a natural reflex to seeing another human being are worth mentioning here.  Actions like that, even in their tiniest forms, are proof that humans are versatile creatures. We don’t need to be best friends or lovers in order to show decency toward others. Of course, I’m not implying that we’re saintly for these minor actions. Just present.
• Quotes that are unintentionally motivational by their honesty: Sure, advice like “reach for the stars!” is wonderful and all, but there are so many words out there that go unnoticed when written down or spoken by a truly wise person. It’s because we want to be told that everything is okay and if we just “be ourselves” and “try, try again” we will succeed. In honesty, I don’t think there is a formula for succeeding. Sure, hard work helps, but not all people who work hard are successful. A quote I think that sums this up best is from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog where the protagonist (Dr. Horrible) assumes that his friend/crush is going to dispense an age-old saying about fate:

Penny: But, you know, everything happens–

Dr. Horrible: Don’t say ‘for a reason’.

Penny: No, I’m just saying that.. everything happens.

Well, that’s all I feel like typing for now.

“Duh” statistics are those profoundly condescending studies that are released by social scientists and university students that seek to prove something that is assumed to be self-evident. Care for an example? While reading an article in Wired about the impact of voice chat in World of Warcraft, I couldn’t help but let out a groan of frustration after reading this paragraph:

This is particularly a problem for women, because often women thrive in MMOs precisely by downplaying their sexual identity. When Krista-Lee Malone, a student at the University of Wisconsin in Milwaukee, did a study of the impact of voice chat on online worlds, women all told her they were treated differently once other players — particularly younger men — could hear their voices. (”They got hit on a lot,” Malone says.)

Krista-Lee is a DOCTRATE student from the University of Wisconsin. I can understand that she might’ve been on a deadline for this “study” and thought to herself “Hey! Why don’t I write about my favourite MMO?” No. A search of her name brought up a study on the economics of Dragon Kill Points. Hey, Dr. Krista, why didn’t you write your thesis on how most Night Elf Hunters tend to be fat and greasy in real life? Subjects like these are filler posts for blogs, so why publish them as actual studies?

Now, I’m not picking on poor Krista-Lee just to be a mean, mean person. There are thousands of published studies out there that are counteractive to the concept of discovery and sharing knowledge. While writing this, I realised that there is another category of studies as well. “Who cares?” studies also pollute research databases with results of findings that only serve to be an amusing tidbit shared at the dinner table (ie “Why people yawn”).

There is no point to these studies other than to gain a spot on the evening news where the anchor tries to make the story interesting by saying “Believe it or not, studies show that reading helps improve vocabulary!”The sad thing is that most of these studies are done by universities using funds that could have otherwise been used to greater benefit. Ridiculousness ensues!