So I Was Minding My Own Business When…
“So I Was Minding My Own Business when…” is arguably the only effective way to begin a personal anecdote. If you do not begin such a story with this introductory sentence, your retelling of an event is hereby deemed futile and boring. Why is this? It’s simple: uninteresting things happen to people who don’t mind their own business. In fact, even if you are a nosy person you should use this phrase so as not to draw attention to this flaw.
If you’re ever sitting alone in front of your computer on a Friday night and you wish you be entertained by the antics of perfect strangers, just Google this phrase. Here are some of the things you’ll come up with:
So, I was minding my own business [. . .] when all of a sudden I hear a banging at my door. Alright, no big deal…who could it be? Well, I answered the door and of course.. it was the babies daddy. Wonderful, now I have to put up with his stupid drama!
This story is AMAZING. I don’t often get to read about squawkings of unwed teenage American mothers who have run-ins with men they should’ve thought twice about before mating with, so this one truly astounds me. If you don’t wish to completely read through it, let me summarise. This woman’s ex-whatever comes to demand the return of some rubbish college ring and jacket that he supposedly lent her. She says she hasn’t got it and he loses his temper, resulting in her fetching her gun to drive him away. All whilst preggerz and teenaged!!
Don’t Use This Phrase If Your Story Sucks
BEWARE. Googling this phrase can yield one of two things: dumbasses and anime nerds.
Example!
So, I was minding my own business doing the porn site reviews I’ve been doing most of this week and everything was routine, everything was ordinary and somewhat mundane. I had a slight headache since I had a few hundred beers last night because a good friend of mine just came back to Panama after a year-and-a-half hiatus so I was in good spirits either way but things were going slow for a Friday when national hero [name omitted] sends me a message via Google Talk. ~
People review porno sites? Wasn’t pornography made to be looked at? A FEW HUNDRED BEERS? And I thought men lied about how many women they’ve been with. It all gets vastly uninteresting as a hideously long IM log is pasted with some back-and-forth in Spanish and English about Snakes on a Plane. Wow. I have to tell you all.. even though this is my blog and I can write about whatever strikes mah fancy, I feel some semblance of committment to posting something that is at least half-interesting to read. Well, at least ONE-FOURTH interesting to read. Which gives me an idea. I should make a list of things people should never write blog entries about.
Another day, another day.
Thesis: The predominance of the phrase “So I Was Minding My Own Business When…” is most rampant amongst the socially-impaired (henceforth referred to as “losers”) in effort to concoct a situation in which it appears that they have business to mind, when they really do not. After all, one cannot have “business” to attend to if they bask in the glow of the monitor memorising the dialogue to undubbed episodes of Naruto.
Tidbits to support said claim:
ok so i was minding my own business watching attack of the show on G4tv, and i was hit with joy when i heard the news ive been waiting for. …
Loser. G4 eats its young. Tech TV 4evs.
Okay so I was minding my own business when my friend starts telling me to read this manga that has similar tones as Death Note. …
Evidence number two.
So, I was minding my own business, checking out some of the tourist beauty-spots in Second Life and generally keeping a customised eye out for a dishonest …
Lolol, admit it, people used to go on Second Life until they realised it’s just a haven for people with Furry fetishes.
So i was minding my own business doing dailies on the sunwell island, I killed a sunfury elf on one of the ships and i get this: …
Sunwell Island? Rofl. This guy doesn’t even succeed at being a WoW loser.
… So I was minding my own business then Sasuke dragged me into the guys locker room with him and Kankuro locked us in. …
This excerpt is from a Naruto fanfiction. All I can say is: disturbing and grammatically incomprehensive.
So, I was minding my own business when… I saw a strange Anime called Dead Leaves. It was a preview I found in the third disc of Ghost in …
Agh!
Okay, that’s enough.
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December 12th, 2008 at 4:36 am
I’m always suspicious of people who start any sort of statement with a line like that. Reminds me a bit of ‘I don’t mean to be rude’.
Nice blog post, gave me a chuckle.
December 12th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
“Sunwell Island? Rofl. This guy doesn’t even succeed at being a WoW loser”
Wow, nice flaming. What’s so bad about doing Sunwell Isle quests? Or is this some faggotry about “BLAH BLAH IT’S QUEL’DANAS” because if it is, stop acting like you’re a WoW expert or something, everyone calls it Sunwell isle.
Also, Armory link of your character kthxpls.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
1. You’re nameless.
2. You’re Finnish. There are only two Finns in the world that are allowed to express their opinions on my blog and you’re, unfortunately, not one of them.
3. You used a fake email address.
4. You wrote “kthxpls”. Okay, thanks, please. In what world is that the correct order to ask a favour?
5. No one calls it Sunwell Island. YOU might call it that since (as hinted at above) your English skills seem to be lacking.
6. WoW expert? LOL
7. You have nothing on my level 8 Orc Warlock.
December 13th, 2008 at 6:32 am
1. My name consists of blank letters. Therefore my name is something, but which just happens to be something you can’t read.
2. It wasn’t my opinion, actually. I was just asked by a friend to forward it to you.
3. No I didn’t. That’s my email. Prove me wrong.
4. O arent u smrt.
5. Again, stop acting. Since you, apparently, have never gotten above level 20, have never been to Quel’Danas or heard people speaking of it, I wouldn’t say you have an opinion to insult other people for calling it Sunwell Isle. It’s just one of your lame attempts at proving you know something about WoW. Also, your very blog post has evidence that people do call it Sunwell Isle.
Again, irony can be spotted. Your English skills seem to lack as well, as you seem to think Quel’Danas is English.
6. LOL. Yes. Stop trying. It doesn’t convince anyone.
7. So you just… leveled for an hour and stopped there?
December 13th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
1. Blank spaces don’t count as letters. English. Please. Learn it.
2. If it’s not your opinion, why are you still replying?
3. That’s cute. You’re trying to be witty.
4. Ty.
5. Referring to the Isle of Que’danas as the Sunwell Isle is like referring to Howling Fjord as Utgarde Keep. Instances don’t define zones, no matter what circular logic you try to apply.
Either way, it’s obvious that you neglected to realise one thing: this blog post wasn’t written to be serious. I’m sorry you have such a limited sense of humour. That may be a side-effect of you being Finnish.
Hey, maybe if you play it cool Russia will come back and re-occupy you guys again.
December 15th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
1. Reading is considered as one of the most valuable skills for survival. You should learn to do so. (Hint: Blank LETTERS. Not SPACES.)
2. Why are you? I thought you didn’t allow Finns to express their opinion in the first place.
3. I see what you did there. …you still lack the proof.
4. “Ty” is not English lol I’m MQ
5. Trouble keeping on the subject? I thought we were talking about how Quel’Danas is COPMPLETELY UNRELATED TO ENGLISH.
6. Not responded. Boring.
7. Not responded. Damn! Also, I like how you failed to deliver the Armory link we so wanted. (Did I say we? I meant… I.)
Whether your blog post is humour or not is irrelevant; in the case where it is relevant, it would mean you were lying all this time, and therefore you wouldn’t bother to respond at all or you would correct my mistake. Yet neither option fits, which proves that example four is - maybe based on humour, but still, truthful on your point of view. You’re just trying to flame me.
However because you ARE ignorant when it comes to World of Warcraft and have no experience whatsoever, you’re completely wrong. Too bad.
Also, http://i33.tinypic.com/2hqqx6c.jpg
December 16th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
There is no such thing as blank letters. I don’t see where the confusion, except on your side, is.
Are you telling me I shouldn’t reply to posts on my own blog? And since this is my blog, I have the right to say whether or not you get the last word. Which, you don’t.
The subject of your reply was that people call it Sunwell Island. I don’t see how I was off-subject by pointing that out. It’s still pretty pathetic that, after my example, you’re still arguing this completely backward point.
As for being ignorant about World of Warcraft. Rofl, I never asserted that I wasn’t. I know enough to say that it’s not called “Sunwell Island”, which is apparently more than you.
Now, how about you go hunt down some whales or build an igloo.
December 19th, 2008 at 12:51 am
I’m not sure what was funnier the blog, or the comment/flame war after. Of course, at first, I thought you just made up the identity to add interest to your blog. But now I have no idea if that was a real person or not. Do you really hate Finnish people…?
The sad fact is I know what Death Note and Ghost in the Shell are. Oh well, that is what I get for going to a tech school.
Regardless, nice article.
-Christopher
December 21st, 2008 at 2:35 am
You know what, Mr. Christopher? My blog is already insanely interesting. I don’t need any split personalities to add random commentary to this post. The fact is, I love Finland. I think they’re beautiful people:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/87/Tarja_Halonen_in_Saint_Petersburg.jpg
That is all.
PS: I’m actually a semi-big fan of some Anime. Death Note isn’t actually a half-bad show.